The world thinks you and I — technical people, geeks, nerds and introverts — are unable or unwilling to communicate well.
That we are hopelessly awkward.
That we don’t have what it takes to be leaders.
But they are wrong.
You already have people skills. Of course, you do.
But if you want to meet your goals, you need a boost to those people skills. The robots haven’t taken over yet.
And the traits that helped you build your successful career are the same traits that will help you improve your communication game.
- You regularly learn and apply new skills and technologies.
- You are great at understanding details and data in order to strategize fixes to large-scale problems.
- You value systems and frameworks that improve efficiency and quality.
- You contemplate complex issues and take time to implement solid plans of action.
- You take time to let others talk and listen.
This is not about changing who you are.
You do not need to change who you are in order to communicate more effectively with all styles of people.
You do not need to pretend to be an extrovert to be successful.
You do not need to wait until you are perfect. Perfect is a race you can’t win. And frankly, perfect is boring.
This is about learning. Obtaining and using knowledge.
Improving communication positively impacts your life.
Want to show the food chain above that you are ready for that promotion? Improve communication with management.
Want to get Steve to finish his work on time, so the team doesn’t miss the deadline a third time? Improve communication with Steve.
Want to stop leaving work emotionally drained? Or stop letting social anxiety control your fun? (All together, now.) Improve communication.
Communication skills are necessary for your success and well-being.
This is where I come in. Unicorn status: Rare.
As a programmer for 16+ years in large corporations, I was eternally tethered to the quiet of my dusty, grey fabric-covered cube and double monitors.
I was encouraged to learn and apply new technical skills.
I was NOT encouraged to dedicate time or resources to improving communication skills.
Communication skills were not a priority for this techie girl… until they were.
Running my fast, small, Scrum-like web development team required a focus on communication. (And I didn’t have a coach like me to shorten the learning curve.)
After I left big corporate, I spent two+ years training and getting certified in research-based systems for improving communication. All to help you shave years off of your learning curve.
I am a real nerd that has spent years teaching fellow nerds how to communicate better.
I friggin love science, but I don’t have a long enough lifespan to create something from scratch. So I found the people doing the best work to help me help you.
I found a set of tools that is backed by over 30 years of data and brain research. It’s easy to learn, but application takes practice.
You’re right. There is a problem with my system.
The problem? It’s been sold for years to businesses in so. many. boring. ways.
And I don’t like boring. Boring sucks. I train using the tech and fandoms we care about.
You know what is NOT boring? Feeling much more confident when I meet a stranger.
Now, I feel like Sherlock looking for clues and unlocking the mystery of how to communicate with someone. (Without his pesky personal issues of course.)
The first piece of my system is DISC. Yep, sounds about as exciting as a paperclip.
But DISC gives you a framework for understanding HOW people communicate. (This isn’t just for realtors and salespeople. DISC is the single fastest way to understand how someone communicates – before you even speak to them.)
The second piece is motivators. That gives us a framework for understanding WHY people communicate. Aka why they take action. (Most DISC providers don’t have this piece of the puzzle, and leaving this out is worse than ignoring the prime directive.)
With these skills, you analyze the communication of others in relation to your view of the world and yourself.
Ever instantly clicked with a stranger? You can observe to see if you have similar DISC profiles.
Met someone and instantly wanted to punch them? You might have opposite DISC profiles. (My lawyer wants me to tell you please don’t punch anyone.)
Met someone, didn’t know if you liked them, but enjoyed them once you started chatting with them? You might have similar motivators.
Instead of meeting a jerk and shutting down or getting angry, you can filter the experience through your new skills.
Don’t be a jerk. Be a jerk tamer.
Most people are accidental jerks.
They are being themselves. You are being yourself.
When styles clash, you get accidental jerk syndrome.
You don’t have to fundamentally change who you are to improve communication, but you do need to learn new skills… and USE them.
If, however, you learn these skills and choose NOT to use them to connect and improve communication, you have begun the slide from accidental jerk to full-on jerkiness. Royal jerkmeister. Jerkasaurus rex.
Don’t be a jerk at work.
I believe in you. You can do this.
I’m betting everything I have that you will.
And I can’t wait to cheer you on when you succeed.
(CEO and Founder, Metsy Corter Consulting, LLC)
Chief Nerd Officer. Communication Coach. Trainer. Scrumentalist.
I focus on work communication, because I am not a shrink. But these skills absolutely help in all relationships. (One of my clients had a breakthrough in our first session that helped her heal an estranged family relationship.)